Today, I had an MRI.
If you’ve ever experienced the panic that shoots through your body as the little platform bed slowly creeps closer and closer to what seems to be a hole the size of a toilet paper roll then you understand how badly I wanted to get up and run out of the room. I’ve never been one to panic when in close quarters or be claustrophobic, but today for whatever reason was an entirely different story.
My mind immediately went into panic mode and I had to calm myself down with meditation and deep breathing, and it worked.
Eventually, I was able to settle down and focus on my thoughts. As I closed my eyes and attempted to ignore the cacophony of excruciatingly loud noises coming from the machine that encased my body, my thoughts settled onto the meaning of it all of course, I mean, what else would I think about for the next 40 minutes?
I thought about life, I thought about why we were here, and I thought about Jesus.
I thought about how Jesus didn’t seem bothered by much that went on here in the world because he knew the world. He also knew what awaited him after he left this world.
I thought about how he was able to refrain from trusting in men because he knew their hearts, and how he was able to brush off the haters (or Pharisees whichever you prefer) because he knew their accusations were meaningless, and how he was able to submit to death because he knew there was so much more than all of this.
What if I could live as Jesus lived, I thought to myself.
What if I could only concern myself with what truly mattered in life and not worry about what anyone else said or thought, not harp so much on the fear of death and loss, and live everyday submitted to Yahweh.
As the machine roared on, I ironically became very quiet in my mind and settled on what must have been the most important thing in this life to Jesus, love. After all, God is love and while it is very clear in the Bible, Matthew 22: 35-40, my mind always wants to complicate things, I guess it’s my human-ness.
I began to ponder what love actually looked like, what the love of my neighbor and myself truly entailed. How do I truly love? Is it as simple as smiling at someone as I pass them on the street or is it as big as giving everything up to work in a limited-resourced country? I’ll be honest, I’m praying on this one.
What I do know is that I have a great example.
Jesus lived a life above the rumbles and noises of this world. He was focused, wasn’t concerned with money, likes, compliments, or ego. His main focus was exhibiting the love of the Father here on earth. Love was his guide and if I aspired to live like him, above the insignificance of so many things that keeps us tethered to these earthly ambitions, I would constantly have to ask myself what would Jesus do, and I am 100% sure that the answer will undoubtedly always be, love.
What does love look like to you?